Yes I know… uncles get to be more fun because the nieces and nephews aren’t their own kids. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

My father has four kids… but as far as I know, I was the only one he abused (mom divorced him before he ever had a chance to do the same to my brother).

My father sucked as a dad… at least as mine… he was scary, abusive, and hurtful.

That aside I’ve learned over the past few weeks, via Facebook no less, that it’s possible for him (and my stepmother) to do good things!

From what I understand, they’ve actually been extremely helpful to a cousin of mine. I’ve never met this cousin, but I’ve always liked her mom (my aunt) who I’ve been able to reconnect with during the past few years (also thanks to Facebook).

I’m really happy for my cousin. Seems like, whatever was done, has made her super happy with her life. What more can you ask for?

As for my father being a better uncle. That could be due to many different factors:

* He was too young when I was born to know how to deal with it
* I wasn’t expected and possibly not wanted – Yes, I was an “accident”
* They weren’t married when I was born
* I look too much like my mom
* I was a girl and my father wanted a son
* I was a threat to my stepmom for whatever reasons
* He was too weak to stand up to my stepmom when she made him choose

He could suck as my father for one, several, or all of the reasons above…. or none of them. Who knows? I’m guessing there may be some studies somewhere or maybe some psychological theories as to why… none of which is worth my time to research.

I forgave and gave up on having a “dad” YEARS ago. I’m glad that he’s at least turned into a nice human being for someone in my life I like, regardless of the reason(s)!

Have you found your father to treat other people better than he ever treated you? Feel free to share (or vent) about it in the comments. It’s always good to let that crap go!

Take care,
Debi aka @GenXBrat

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