If you know what this is an x-ray of, you’re probably over the age of 50, know someone who is, or have possibly had colon issues.

I had a colonoscopy done in my late 20’s or early 30’s. I don’t remember a single thing I can list as fun!

I do remember the doctor explaining to me how most people’s colons go up, across, and back down, but that there are a few select people (I’m a lucky one amongst them!) who have a colon that, instead of going straight across behind our hearts, it does this little loop-de-loop type thing. He said he’d really love to have a chance to do a study on it.

I told him good luck in finding volunteers for THAT little experiment!!

50 Years of Living = More Medical Tests

This Saturday is my 50-year-old colonoscopy… the one they say to you, “well, you ARE 50 now!”. I’d probably keep putting it off a while longer, except for the fact I’ve had bleeding off and on for the past several years. We’ve been attributing it to my son causing me hemorrhoids during his childbirth (I never said it WAS his fault… I’m simply blaming him… there’s a difference!)

Either way, it’s time to figure out what’s going on. That way I can put it off for another 10 years.

So, Saturday’s the big day. I’m thinking subconsciously I’ve done all I can to sabotage it. I have either a chest cold or pneumonia… I’ll know more next week.. but the doctor says as long as I’m not running a fever, we can still get it done. Then I mixed the “cleansing” powder a day early (thought it was Thursday on Wednesday). The pharmacist thinks it’ll be close, but ok.

The sabotaging isn’t working… so I think I’m going to have a camera checking out my insides Saturday morning. Oh joy!

Getting Ready

It all seems so much more involved than what I remember. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure yet, here’s what you can expect:

* 10 days before – they had me stop taking all my vitamins, herbs and supplements because many, especially vitamin E, Fish oil, aspirin, and nsaids all have blood thinning properties. That’s not good if they have to remove any polyps while they’re exploring my colon… seems it’s hard to get things to heal inside there! 😉

* 2 days before (today) – they had me mix and refrigerate this powder stuff with a half gallon of Gatorade (I used G2 because I’m low carb… yes, even meds matter)

* 1 day before (tomorrow) – I’m stuck all day on a clear liquid diet… fruit juices (which are high carb, so no), popsicles (haven’t found any that are sugar free, so again, no), clear broth, tea, coffee, soda… NOW we’re talking! So that’s what I’ll be drinking all day. Chicken boullion, tea, coffee, Sparkling ICE, and water. I think I’ll skip the Monster drinks because I’m not sure what all the herbs are in them.

* The night before – I get to start drinking the powder stuff I mixed up around 5pm… 8 oz every 10-20 minutes until it’s gone. And while I’m a huge water drinker, that’s a lot in a short timeframe. I don’t see that THAT’S gonna be any fun either. But hey, once it’s all gone, they say I get to reward myself with another 16 oz of clear liquid!! Yay me!

* After that – I’m pretty sure, given they recommended Vaseline or Desitin as skin protectants (with no additional explanation as to where or why I’d care about that fact), that the rest of my evening will be spent in my bathroom. I’ll leave out the follow-up details on that particular item (unless something TRULY bizarre happens!).

Like I said, that just seems like a ton of work to me… and that’s just the prep work!!

The Procedure

On the day of (Saturday), I check-in at o’dark thirty so they can get me ready to see the doctor. They’re using twilight type sleepy meds so I’ve gotta have someone stay there with me, drive me home, and then hang out with me all day and evening. In other words, I’ve gotta have a 24-hour babysitter. They’ll be thrilled. Especially given that I don’t have cable!

I haven’t a clue as to what happens the day of or when results from anything they may find come back, but I’m sure I’ll be posting an update of some sort next week.

In the meantime, I just gotta say… there are a lot of things I’ve learned to appreciate about being 50… I just don’t think that this will ever be one of them!

I’m guessing I’ll get across the board “no way”, but I’ll ask anyway… anyone ever had one of these and actually thought it was an ok thing to do? Or do you just keep it in the “necessary evil” pile? 🙂

Take care,
Debi aka @GenXBrat

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